he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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