would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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