Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
