I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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