I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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