I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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