Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
