i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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