So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
