I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
