So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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