i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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