You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
