I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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