Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
