'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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