I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize