All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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