Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
