I think im going to throw up on grandma
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
