Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
BRING THE BAGELS
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
