Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have fence marks all over my body
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
