drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
