How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
