Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I need to sanitize my soul.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
