i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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