Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
