I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
