I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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