apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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