Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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