I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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