Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
