Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
