Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
