And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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