my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
