scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
