recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
