my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
