but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
