belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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