ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
