I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
