we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
