I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize