i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
