i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
