At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
