you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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