I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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