I want to make a zoo with you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
