what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
