just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize