He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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