you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
