Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
