ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
